Have you ever told yourself you were going for a ‘natural makeup look’ and before you knew it you’ve used every single shade in your $19.99 Chi Chi eye shadow pallet and attempted contouring without owning a single contour product? Cause same.
I don’t know if you could call it over-confidence because self confidence is definitely something I’m lacking but I have this tendency to see a professional doing something and think ‘how hard could it be?’ Cue EPIC fail.
Well today there was no time for failure and I guess the phrase ‘fake it til you make it’ could be applied here because hey, I left the house and no one told me I looked like a dump truck so I think that was a win. Either that or I’ve got shit, dishonest friends.
But let’s back track a little…
So there I was attempting my ‘natural look’ and next minute my hair had been curled, I’m wearing three layers of full coverage foundation, a $110 playsuit (dont worry guys I got it on sale for $30) and I’m a pair of platform heels away from giving the majority of the Brisbane night scene attendees a run for their money. All of this might I add, while my kids were rotating between screaming at my feet, ripping each other’s hair out and trying to do front flips off my couch.
Some may call me super mum for looking half presentable (or maybe like a dump truck – I’m still not sure) and having both kids ready and out of the house by 8am but I’m leaning more towards borderline neglect because we all know it’s near impossible to get all that shit done whilst giving your kids the attention they’re so desperately demanding. I’m sorry Ollie, no I dont know where the toy that you had in your hand FIVE minutes ago has gone. I also don’t want to drop everything I’m doing to search for something that’s probably exactly where you threw it when you decided that another of your seven billion toys was of more interest.
And, I’m off track again – get used to that.
We’re all dressed, I’ve made the boys some sandwiches to eat while we’re out (because like hell am I buying them food only for them to have one bite and tell me they’re not hungry) and we’re walking out the door. Alfie has a spoilt rich kids birthday party worth of toys in hand and I don’t even care because FOR ONCE we are out of the house at a reasonable hour.. and only 15 minutes later than planned. This is actually a big deal guys. I was pretty impressed with myself.
Whilst in ‘Super mum’ mode, I had this great idea to sit in with the kids at Gloria Jeans. I also forgot it was 8:30am and got sucked into buying them a choc chip cookie & ginger bread man (really not used to being out of the house so early), so sugar for breakfast it was.
Our experience at GJs included Ollie almost being squashed by the electric sliding doors (don’t ask), an old man shaking his head in disgust while Alfie ate choc chip crumbs off the floor (I’m pretty sure they were his crumbs already so it’s not so bad right?… like 89% sure) and every person in the store almost being toppled over with coffee in hand as both tornado kids ran riot.
So far I think I had totally aced this early morning super mum gig.
Coffee was downed and we were ready for an adventure with the lovely mamma behind @thatmumwifetravel.life and her two little babes.
The drive out to Rocksberg was pleasant. Alfie fell asleep (it’s tiring getting up at 5am isn’t it mate?) and Ollie questioned the origin of every animal species in the entire of existence.
We found a cute little spot by a running stream and instantly questioned our sanity. Trying to snap a ‘super mum – I’ve got my shit together, just happily chilling on a rock in the middle of a creek’ photo with 4 under 4 running loose was harder than we originally anticipated. I don’t think there was a decent photo of either of us mammas that didn’t include a toddler head in the corner or little fingers in front of the lens but thank God for the crop tool.
Bec had this crazy idea to climb the rocks up stream and that’s when shit got real. There we both were with an 11kg babe on our hip, gripping a three year old’s hand, whilst trying to navigate slippery rocks as we traveled upstream towards what I must admit were some cute little waterfalls. As much as I was thinking the entire time that this was the worst idea ever (soz Bec), it was totally worth it…. For all of 5 minutes until it occurred to us that we had left all of our stuff (phone, wallet, keys) back down on the side of the creek, totally out of view. So off we went, back down stream – to safety.
No amounts of full coverage foundation could have hidden the fact that by this stage, I was a total hot mess. We were all dripping in sweat and my super mum label was wearing thinner by the minute, more so when I realised that I’d forgotten to pack a water bottle for the boys, pushing things even closer to neglect.
But like I reminded Ollie as he was crying for water… ‘you’ll be right mate’ and he totally was. Maybe I’m not so bad of a mum after all.
Yes, I may have let my 20 month old jump head first off a rock into the water one too many times. Maybe the sandwiches I made sat in the sun a little too long resulting in them turning soggy and not gaining master Kruize’s approval. And then there’s that no water sitch. But ignoring all the negatives, I’m gonna slap that super mum label right back on my chest and wear it proud because guess what, being a mum is pretty damn super. Shit happens and sometimes our kids almost die of dehydration (joke) but we got this!